I can’t keep trying to save the thing.

Doing what’s best for an organization can be a daunting task. Long hours, impossible goals, superiors that shouldn’t be, all for less that half a peanut outside of the shell. You keep saying to yourself “It’s for the org”. You believe in the thing, the entity. You try to save the thing, as much as others try to destroy it. You see the potential in the thing. What it could be if it were given the opportunity to thrive. But at every turn, there is a block, something that makes it harder and harder for the thing to be its best. You should’ve walked away a long time ago but you keep believing, “if you can just get everyone to try this or understand that”, one day it will run like a well oiled machine. You give it your all, you lose sleep, you feel pain because you know how great it could be. Then one day you wake up and realize, “I can’t save the thing”. You need help and it just isn’t there. So when that day comes, that you wake up and know…. You known for a while but you’ve pushed it away. Now it’s clear. You stand up and walk away.

You may come back in the future, but it will be on your terms. The real question is, will the thing survive?

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